WHY DONT WE DO WHAT WE SHOULD BE DOING?
I am an author. I love writing, yet sometimes I put off writing the next chapter of my novel, or editing a finished manuscript. Although I say that I must do it,
Why does this happen?
Do you ever say that you are going to do something , yet deep down you know that you won't do it? ....if so, read on...
“I must go on a diet”
“I must start exercising.”
“I must write my project.”
“I must visit my elderly aunt.” Etc. Etc.
We say these things, we know that we should do these things, we know they are right and important, but we don't do them.
Why do we avoid doing what we know we should be doing?
I have had so many really excellent students who know that an essay must be handed in by a certain date. They are told the deadline weeks in advance. However, so many of them either write it at the last minute ( not making the best job of it) or ask for an extension. ...it drives ME mad. It drives THEM mad. So why does it happen?
Well, I think it's because these sorts of thoughts come from a different place from true motivation.
When we say these things that we MUST do yet we know deep down that we won't do them, we are using 'guilt think.'
These things , these thoughts, come from an entirely different place than true motivation. These thoughts are uttered to assuage guilt. To try and stop us feeling guilty about not doing the things we should do. ( well, we realise we must/should do them!)
When we subsequently don't do these things, we say that we didn't FEEL like it...a clue that subconscious emotions are affecting us.
However, what did we do instead? What action did we take rather than do these things which we should do?
At a time when we could have been exercising we were actually doing something else: reading a book, watching TV, gossiping with a friend, sleeping even. I bet we didn't even think,let alone say, I FEEL like doing this...we just DID it.
Action, therefore, comes from somewhere else.
Action usually comes from a place where there are no words, no 'musts', no guilt.
And that's what we need to harness when we want to get something done.
So get rid of the guilt, ditch the 'musts', and hitch your carriage to the real power in your mind.
Firstly, OWN your true emotions.
“I dont feel like doing exercise, I don't enjoy it, I don't like it ” etc.
Take each MUST in your life, dig deep in your mind and write your true emotions about it, as I did above.
Secondly, explore those emotions which are truly stopping you.
Ask yourself: Is it important that you do feel like doing ...., enjoy.... like..whatever you do?
Only YOU can know the answer. If it is so important then say "I'm not doing exercise because I really don't enjoy it. I'm doing, say, dancing, because I feel like it, enjoy it and like it.
You replace a 'must do' with an 'enjoyable to do' action.
Try this his with a few of your guilt promises to your self.
This is is a technique which enables you to follow your feelings. It can make you feel better, less worried and more relaxed.
It works well with some unimportant activities,and makes life more enjoyable. However, it doesn't help with true motivation to do what had to be done.
Some things NEED to be done whether we like them or not.
In my next article I will tell you how to replace thoughts with ACTION and true motivation....
I will tell you how to stop thinking and start doing!!!