DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ...NO REFUGE.
DOMESTIC VIOLENCE ...for many there is “No Refuge,” there is no escape.
One of the most cruel aspects of domestic violence is that it is perpetrated on someone who the perpetrator loves and who loves him/her.
When two people fall in love and become partners..married, engaged or living together, they do so because they desire and like each other. They each believe that they have found the other part of themselves...their lover, soulmate, life partner and the other parent of their future children.
How then, can this adoration turn into cruel and sadistic violence?...both physical and psychological.
When anyone thinks of the headlines “woman raped and beaten to death” they imagine a vicious monster who preys on women and attacks them in an alleyway. The truth is, 90% of those headlines apply to women who have been killed by their own partners or spouses. The figures are lower for women murdering or wounding their lovers, but none the less they account for around 40% of actual bodily harm against a man.
When then, does love turn to hate?
Sometimes, a man or woman can be so consumed with jealousy ( real or imagined) that they will blame their partner for being a temptress or a flirt. This angers them, thinking that the person they love will betray them. The idea consumes the jealous partner until they start to hate their other half, for ( imaninary) affairs and causing them pain. In this twisted logic, the jealous partner wants to hurt their loved one as much as they are being hurt ( in their fantasy) and either bursts out into a torrent of ugly derogatory remarks or actually hits, kicks or punches their lover.
That is only one scenario and one example of the reasons for domestic violence. However, every reason is in the mind of the perpetrator, and the victim is never to blame.
Maybe these people ‘love too much’ as they like to claim, but very often drugs or alcohol are involved and the perpetrators tend to be insecure individuals with addictive personalities. Sometimes they are thrill seekers, who actual get a ‘buzz’ out of their actions, or sadists whoenjoy inflicting pain on other.
This book explores the different types of domestic violence through the characters in the novel, showing the emotional and physical consequences of such behaviour and the plight of anyone who undergoes this trauma. It also shows possible futures for all involved...some tragic and some ,some optimistic. It's greatest strength, however, is in its destruction of stereotypes.
Take a look